Wednesday, November 02, 2011
from a father
Writing a letter to you like this as a fan born in the 1960's, perhaps it may be a shock to you, but as someone from an older generation, I have a few things to say.
It's been 3 years since my daughter became a part of this fandom, she is now a student in 2nd year. She used to be such an energetic child, she was a little ditzy and lacked focus. It wasn't until she identified herself as Cassiopeia that she began to mature.
My eccentric daughter, who once wished to be placed 2nd last in class, came home one day with a poster in her hand, a strange, mysterious expression on her face. I was cooking then, so I didn't take much notice. My daughter likes manga/cartoons, so she takes home a lot of posters. I made to call her over for dinner once it was ready, but she was already standing at the door, ready to show off the poster in her hands. "Dad, look, aren’t they handsome?"
I gave a noncommittal response as she bounded back into her rom. After dinner, I went into her room for an inspection and found a new poster hanging on the walls, one with 5 tall men, all absurdly dressed.
"What is this?" I asked strictly.
"You agreed that they're handsome so I put it up on my wall!" She responded.
"Who are they?" I demanded in distaste. I grew up in a traditional, conservative family. I began walking over, ready to remove it.
"No!" She yelled, "from now on I’m Cassiopeia!"
Since she stopped me, I didn't take down the poster. It wasn't until a week later that it finally hit me that my daughter had become a fan girl… The name "Cassiopeia" rang in my ears, and so I went on the internet to look it up. I found out about "TVXQ", I found out about 'Cassiopeia". I couldn't believe my daughter was calling herself one… Up until now, I still have no idea how she became one in the first place.
At first, everyone in the family was against it, but it only made her more determined. She'd go home and lock herself in her room and we'd argue. Her mom said "She's just going through a phase, stop pestering her about it." I didn't want our daughter to turn into 'that type', in my view, those 5 men were nothing more than pretty faces. I didn't want my daughter to fail academically because of them.
Surprisingly, her grades did not slip.
My daughter found more and more on the internet related to "TVXQ", information, music, videos. Whenever I looked at her history, I'd find a whole column of links saying "TVXQ". She started to keep a diary, a diary about her dreams of TVXQ.
There was even a time when she came home one day and hurriedly into the bathroom to wash her face. When she came out, I saw that there was a bruise on her nose. Pained, I asked her how she got it and she told me she bumped into something, but a while later, her teacher called to tell me she'd been in a fight with some boys. I interrogated her, so she told me that the boys were antis, that they had been bashing TVXQ. I was furious. I tore off her poster and threatened to rip it apart.
"Don't you dare! If you tear that poster, then you're no longer my father! And I'm not your daughter anymore!"
Her mother dragged me out of the room.
I stopped trying to change my daughter eventually. She told me to believe in her, that Cassiopeia aren't "that type" of fan girl. A while after, a Korean boy enrolled in her school… she waved around the note he wrote to her for months. She went and started Korean classes, sometimes even helping her friends with the language. Eventually she even took an interest in the culture of the country… even if it was against my wishes.
Later on, I found a saying on her wall:
"永不言弃" [Never give up], below it was a poem:
有一种信仰不叫崇拜, [There is a type of belief that is not worship]
有一种支持不是追捧, [A type of support that is not blind]
有一种交流超越了距离, [A type of interaction that overcomes barriers]
有一种精神不分国界. [And a type of faith that knows no boundaries]
When I saw it, I said to her, "You really have grown up."
Trans : dorfy